Cinco De Mayo

Good morning to you all. So as I stated in my last post...a lot of you don't know exactly what Cinco De Mayo is. So I'm going to give you a brief update of this.

It is often thought that Cinco de Mayo is Mexico's Independence Day...it's not. Mexico's Independence Day is actually September 16. This holiday is actually called the Baker's war to some people. Though I don't know the exact correlation between bakeries and war, it's a nicer way of stating that the Mexicans declared war and won against foreign french forces.

At the time of Mexican independence from Spain, the country was put in a constant turmoil since everyone was fighting about who would rule. At this point, the french (who had a presence already there...in bakeries I assume?) decided this was an opportune time. They invaded and declared war on the Mexican government and marched onto Mexico city.

The french ended up occupying the city and placed Maximilian I, as Emperor of Mexico on the throne of Mexico. Eventually the french were defeated and expelled in 1867. Cinco de Mayo celebrates the Mexican army's victory over the French at Puebla ( a region in Mexico) though this has nothing to do with the final expulsion of the french.

But my heart belongs to daddy!

Today is a very special day. Not only because it's Earth Day (have you done something green today?), but also because it's my father's birthday! Happy Birthday Dad! I wish you the best in everything that you do, and today should be an amazing day! Love you

Time is a funny thing- review of the time capsules

First let me state how happy I am that some of you took me up on the challenge I presented to you all last week. It was the first time that I had actually done that and I was curious to see the turn out. It seems that a few of you did exactly that, here are some examples:

Eric:

"I'm a photographer, so film and my pictures are important to me. I took old containers and filled them with copied negatives of my favorite pictures and trinkets. I put them in one shoe box and buried it the park. I don't think anyone will dig it up, but even if they do. It'll be a time capsule of a moment in my life."

Mark:

"I had a bad break up. Actually I had several. So I made this. It's buried in my grandmother's attic. I'll pull it out at some point".

Pamina:

"I always liked my childhood. Remembering what made me happy."

Rachel:

"I didn't take any pictures of my time capsule but i put in it all the things that reminded me of high school. I hated that place. Maybe when I'm ready I'll go back and open it up. For the meantime, it's better off in the cow pastures"

Laura:

"We had just moved into a new (but old) house. My husband and I wanted to remove the linoleum flooring (which was ugly) and put down some carpet. When we started pulling it up we found perfectly preserved newspapers from the 1960's. We didn't want to disturb it, since they were originals. So we put down some of the newspaper headlines that we had lying around the house and did a shoddy job of re carpeting that area. We have a note for when we move out for the next family that lives here. It explains why we did such a bad job"

Sarah:

(no description)

Greg:

"I found these in my grandfather's basement when he died. They're old and past their expiration date. But I figure it'd be a good idea to keep them. It has fond memories attached to it"

Megeen:

"-always pads (hopefully in the future it'll be better for us girls)
-my play pearls from childhood.

-a letter to the person that opens it

-girl scout cookies (they'll rot away)

-a picture of the pope

-a recipe for brownies

-a picture of my hometown"

Tallayah:

"I didn't really have anything that I was willing to put into a time capsule. But I remembered that you said it could be for anything important to show change and how I was then. So I took a picture of me at that moment holding my dog. Put it in an envelope and hid it away. When I look back. I'll remember what was important."

Fatima:

"-rope

-a piece of a sail

-sand from my favorite beach

-a small shell

-a piece of a floaty

-a picture of my family fishing

-a picture of my home town on the coast of morocco. "

Mori:

" I filled up a chest full of my grandmother's things. I intend to wear them when I am old"

Frank:

" My wife died in childbirth, and the my baby girl died not long afterwards. This was a long time ago, back in 1953. I put everything that reminded me of her and of our times together into a box and gave it to a museum to do what they will with it. I don't know what happened, but I'd like to think that they're being saved for a time when people would like to look at back at the time when I was a young man. "

Dating Mr. Big

As I mentioned in my last post, I dated a guy who had lots of money. I'm talking about...lots. Now none of it was his money, it was all his family's...and even that I'm betting actually came from some scandal in his home country (I won't get into the politics of where his money came from). But my love affair with, I'll call him Andre, began one night when I answered the phone and a very bold, pleasing voice stuttered an awkward hello. I was flattered. I had met him at a small party held by another well-to-do friend of mine and I never thought I would receive a personal call from him. He was very smooth, and had a million and one women all over him at the party. So naturally I was shocked when he called me.

A whirlwind first date followed, and then a heady courtship that lasted on and off for a few months, until I found myself in a painful triangle with the woman who was to become his fiance. He's still out there I assume, splashing money about, if he hasn't been arrested for something. As for me, I've moved out on my own where I am working like a regular girl, in a regular life, in a regular city. While I've put Andre far behind me. I've never forgotten the lessons I learned from dating a big shot:

1. If a man asks you to meet him in New York for your first date, run- but not to New York.

Who doesn't love a bold romantic gesture? Just don't ignore the red flags: Andre did indeed pay for me to go to New York for our first date, later he bought me jewelry, and paid for a million and one things. Perhaps all of that blinded me to the difference between us, and the fact that he had recently broken up with his first fiance and was in no way ready for a relationship.

2. Greed is not good for a relationship.
I remember Andre saying things like "Thousands is not enough, I want to have more when I am on my own". Once he said he'd have to sell part of his "empire". OK, Obi-Wan. Too much success can give a guy confidence- which normally isn't bad, but so much so that they start dating multiple people because they think they deserve it. And that's exactly what Andre did.

3. If it seems like he has something to hide, trust your gut, he has something to hide. Andre was always very shady. He constantly was asking who strangers were and didn't like it when I helped other people because that made him nervous...and not in the good protective way but because he would then think I had something against him. Later on, experience proved that he was a pretty shifty guy that I really shouldn't have been involved in.

4. When friends don't have anything nice to say about your boyfriend, listen.

People, that weren't apart of Andre's "crowd", found him arrogant, cruel and cold. Even though they were my friends, and yes they weren't the top cream layer of DC, Andre would treat them with disdain. They were worth more than he was, and it showed he really had no respect for people.

5. You really can learn from every experience.

Andre encouraged me to improve myself, without changing exactly who I was; to never forget the lessons that my family had taught me, and I thank him for those things. I now know how to distinguish people that actually care for me and people that are just using me for something. He also made me realize that if you do something wrong it's important to own up to it early on, and I have learned the value of being loyal, not only to yourself, but to your friends and the people you care about.

Woody Allen was on an American Apparel Billboard?

The big news today is that Woody Allen is suing American Apparel for misappropriation of his image. Apparently, woody was never contacted about billboards that depicted him dressed as a rabbi, which apparently endorsed American Apparel clothing....somehow... and so now he feels he's owed $10 million for the use of his face.

Guess you can just throw this one on top of the pile of lawsuits already against AA, specifically Dov Charney. What's interesting, is that I had no idea these billboards even existed, and neither did anyone else I asked this morning. And what's even more interesting is that these billboards were used to promote a Christmas day flyer for steep discounts for shopping only on Christmas of last year. Who shops on Christmas day? Rabbis of course!

btw it says, in Yiddish, holy rabbi in the corner. Want to read more?

What to say (and not say) in a date

So I’ve been getting a lot of people asking me what to say and what not to say to someone that they’re interested in. I’ll be honest; it’s very difficult to tell you absolute truths with this because every single person is different. However, I was sent a suggestion from one of you asking me if this article was correct. It’s an article from the MSN homepage that says “What not to say or do in the presence of a woman”. I’ll give you my thoughts on it.

1. Don’t reveal how much your car cost. This is true for me. I may not be a mechanic, but I can tell when a car cost a lot a when a car doesn’t. If you have a nice car, you have a nice car. There’s no reason to boast about it, because frankly I don’t care. It makes you seem like you’re trying so hard to impress me with money…you may very well be, but simply showing me your expensive car is enough…and you get points for not being arrogant about it. Also, why draw attention to your car? We’re on a date with you, not with your car.

2. Don’t clean your gun. This is a half truth. On the first date, yeah it may not be such a good idea. You come off as a little bit psycho. But…if you do own a gun, be sure you tell the girl on the first date. How would you like to be really into a girl, and then she suddenly shouts “ha ha I’m a man!”. It’s not necessarily the same thing here, but what if she doesn’t like guns…she would get the same reaction. If she doesn’t mind, perhaps you could show her how to clean it on another date. Base line, just don’t do it on your first date.

3. Polish high school trophies (which you still have displayed). True.

4. Refer to your mother as your best friend. True.

5. Rap. Unless you’re at karaoke, or trying to make us laugh, true.

6. Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter. Do it without us noticing (if you must), because nothing is more annoying than trying to impress someone, when they’re too busy checking someone else out.

7. Question our footwear. True. If we are regretting our decision, don’t rub our face in it.

8. Blow-dry your hair. Meh, it’s not so bad…so long as you don’t take longer than we do.

9. Tip less than 20 percent. Most of us, at some point, have been a waitress and know what it’s like. Show some class, and be nice...unless the service was really really bad.

10. Celebrity impressions. They can be kinda grating.

11. Impressions of us. True.

12. Forget to carry cash. True.

13. Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will give us the impression that it’s just an appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction. True.

14. Wii. Not true. I’ve had plenty of times where this was a lot of fun. But not recommended for the frist date, and if you do show her your wii…let it be something she can do too.

15. Scream—at the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at Bill Belichick. True, no matter how much that person/thing deserves it, when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for.

16. Talk about former exploits. Ever. Some girls find this true. I personally don’t care. You wouldn’t be on a date with me if you didn’t like me a little bit. So long as you don’t go into so many details. The time you’re entering the danger zone is if you start comparing me and them. Example: No- I used to date a girl that liked me to pull her hair. Yes- I used to date someone that was a vegetarian. No- My last girlfriend didn’t eat fish like you do.

17. Use the words bitch, slut, tramp, or whore. True, unless referring to another man.

18. Tell us you're going to kiss us. Not true. Women like mystery and the whole, dark and handsome stranger thing. Be a man and go for it. But if she pulls away, back off immediately and apologize. Also, remember, a kiss is a kiss…tonsil hockey is tonsil hockey…learn the difference.

You've been sleeping around

On the topic of travel! I want to go to these as well! Enjoy a sort of mini carousel.I’ve spent the night in some mighty sketchy beds. Who are you to judge? Or deny, for that matter. In fact, I’m happy to up your ante with even stranger places to lay your head.

You won’t mind being a pod person at Whitepod, a tented Alpine ecoresort where you can ski or hike or just be. The single- or double-occupancy tents feature wood-burning stoves and organic bedding. This is Switzerland, after all.

Bond with nature in a deep way at Kokopelli’s Cave Bed & Breakfast, a one-bedroom cave carved 70 feet underground in 65 million year old stone. Why would you do this? Those views of Mesa Verde and the Four Corners sure are nice.

If you’d rather go up than down, climb 50 feet to your very own Mount Rainier tree house. How else do you expect to have morning coffee with the eagles?

It’s a mad, floating beach house when you invite a dozen pallies to bunker down on Lake Mead or Lake Powell with Forever Houseboats. (As far as I’m concerned, “pleasure Cove Marina” says it all...yaaaarrrr!)

Lone Ranger with your Tonto in an Alberta tipi. You get 350 square feet of solar-heated water and electricity. But what are you doing inside with those amazing plains right outside?

You got the band back together, uploaded tracks to Facebook, and sweat through a new tat. You’re ready to hit the road in a luxury tour bus that sleeps up to twelve. That’s plenty o’ room for the groupies.

What do you guys think?

Workout video

As many of you know, I have a weird fascination and an irrational fear of the undead. I had a few extra moments to do a quick search on zombies, to find out when the movie "World War Z" would be coming out (I will tell you what WWZ is in another post. For now it is an awesome book). One of the hits that I had was Linnea Quigley workout. I was curious to see what the scream queen of the 80's had to do with zombies and a workout. So I clicked on the link.





Ladies and gentlemen...I have now been traumatized.





At this very moment, in my mind, I hold a perpetual image of Linnea Quigley in her ineffably rad "horror Workout" video. After a nice *graphic* shower, Linnea does some warm-up stretches and then goes for a run. She encounters some flabby zombies who follow her back to her house, where she leads them in some poolside aerobic routines. Later she unwinds by inviting some friends over for a slumber party and some exercise...all in nightgowns. When something goes bump in the house, her friends begin experiencing an attrition problem.

Much to the disappointment of B-movie fans everywhere, this pinnacle of home fitness instruction has yet to be made available on DVD. The VHS cassette sells for anywhere between 50 and 100 clams online. Or you can watch it here. I warn you though it's not really "work appropriate" (depending on where you work), I suggest you watch this when you know that no one will be able to watch you (that way no one will also never see you attempt some of the moves).

odd gatherings

So when I go across the wonderful Internet, searching for various ingredients to add to my daily delectable treats for you, I sometimes come across things that are just so... well I'll leave it up to you to decide what they are. I've collected a few of them to show you. From me to you ;)

You’re proud of your maternal skills.Which is why when baby has a cold, you’ll want the Nosefrida nasal aspirator, a Swedish solution to kiddie congestion. Just hold the red end in your mouth and put the other end on your little one’s sniffly snout. Then, hold on, suction the mucus out. Gross? Kind of. But a filter prevents it from infecting you. Not really that appealing to me. Available online at nosefrida.com.

Journey to the land at the back of the closet, beyond the feathered boas and flannels, to the box of banished baubles. From high school-era Love pendants to goth spiked cuffs, every piece of jewelry from every ex languishes in a lack of a better home. At the shining new exboyfriend jewelry.com you can put it online and share your story with the world. Here, liberated girlfriends, wives, mistresses, and lovers have a free place to sell, gripe about, and comment on the gilded goods from trysts of old. Each posting asks for the scoop (which should describe the item and relationship), a description of the jewelry, and how the seller rates it. Seller sentiments range from “If it wasn’t weird to wear another man’s God jewelry around your new boyfriend, I’d keep this one” to “You could melt it down and make a cute charm.” Shipping and handling cost extra, but the emotional baggage is free.

I know Louis Vuitton is the king of putting their logo on everything under the sun, but this one takes the gâteau - In honor of White Day in Japan (kind of like Valentine's Day, except you can only give gifts that are white,) Louis Vuitton is offering white fabric roses - with the LV logo printed on a petal. I'm not sure if they're trying to take credit for having designed the roses (pretty sure the shape of these was a no-brainer,) or if they think the logo somehow makes them LV-approved, but I can't imagine anyone foolish enough to part with $39 for each one of these things when white bunny-shaped marshmallows from Kraft are so readily available these days. To me, this makes about as much sense as a double C-monogrammed ice cream cone or D&G fake nails.

The designers of the Terminator Sarah Connor Chronicles are def. sci-fi fans. Because they clearly stole the idea from the great (and old) anime series : Ghost in a Shell. Which, ironically, is also about the future and the creation of A.I.

You'll come across a few images and this one just makes me laugh...seriously? Trying to open the market from coke addicted models?

You have to love it when a big corporation (just like the series above) take something from another more "artistic" venue. I'm not saying that Nine-Inch-Nails is poor and starving, but still I hold more respect for the music than I do for the fast food chain...especially when they try and pass it off as "natural" and "free".

original NIN album cover on the left, and McD's on the right.

And that's it for now, but I will have more. I promise! What do you guys think?

A video could help your life

Well you did it again mes petits poissons, you have made my day and sent me a charming video. Where do you come up with this stuff?



No doubt I’m a jaded soul for questioning the the sincerity of Fred Spencer and his lovely wife Sharon. Then again, I was raised on the deadpan weirdness of David Lunch. In a hyper-ironic meme world brimming with Tims, Liams, and Sashas, it's impossible for this charismatic couple from Kelowna, BC to remain above suspicion. But... I want to believe!

What do you think? friends, or faux? Either way, what's not to love?

Time...expired

“Mom always said she wanted a parking meter with ‘time expired,’ ” explains Barbara Sue’s daughter, Sherri Ann Weeks, who along with brother Terry crafted this charming tombstone in Oklahoma. “And she wanted to be on the front row of the cemetery so she could see what was going on. … We gave her what she wanted.”

Some suspected Phtotoshop tomfoolery, but the tombstone has been verified by several newspapers and today by snopes.com. “These are true pictures,” wrote son Terry in response to a blog conversation on the website, where the validity of the tombstone was called into question. “Notice that she passed away on her 64th birthday, so the meter reads 64 year time limit. It is located in Okemah, Oklahoma. I KNOW she is loving the attention. She wanted to make people smile even after she was gone.”

Me personally, I can’t imagine I’ll ever have a tombstone of my own, though I can appreciate a work of art such as the above. By the time I die (if I die of natural causes), I imagine that the world will be so over-populated that spending on a grave plot is going to be something way too expensive and frivolous for me to ever inflict on my loved ones. Plus, I’m sure eventually someone will build high-rises over it which means that I’ll have to go back and haunt them. No, I’d much rather be buried in a forest somewhere, so that I can turn into trees. Or be part of paint.

Touch screen tattoo!

“Her cell phone is ringing, but the display is turned off. She lightly pushes a small dot on the skin on her left forearm to suddenly reveal a two by four inch tattoo with the image of the cell phone’s digital display, directly in the skin of her arm. She answers the call by pushing a tattooed button on her arm. While she’s talking, the tattoo comes to life as a digital video of the caller. When she finishes, the tattoo disappears”.

Now imagine yourself sipping something exotic and maybe reading on a rooftop. Suddenly, the face of a dear friend [presently in Shanghai, for instance] emerges through the skin on your forearm. A long-overdue conversation begins. Not a bad prospect, mm?




(Look ma! Stiff as a board, light as a feather, runs on pizza!)


Body modification may be a somewhat neglected topic here, but every once in a while something truly unique catches our collective eye. Take this render of a blood-fueled subcutaneous cell phone implant, for instance. Revealed by Jim Mielke at Greener Gadgets Design Competition, this is not an actual phone with keypad, earpiece and mic, but rather a thin touch screen – a silicon and silicone pad which runs to on your very own fuel! Myriads of tiny spheres change from clear to black during calls and can be seen through your skin, digital video of the caller coming into view once a call begins. Only a concept at the moment, this is a mod I’ll be signing up for just as the option is available, provided that there is a way to turn the thing off.

Political wordings

Faster than a speeding ballot. Sweeping primaries in a single bound. Look up in the sky: It’s a gimmick; it’s a cliffhanger; it’s punditocracy!

20/20 vision (n):
the media’s tendency to blow small issues totally out of proportion for the sake of news show fodder.

between Barack and a hard place (n):
the sphere in which undecided democrats linger to contemplate the electability of candidates.

I heart Huckabee (n):
a bad movie and campaign.

it takes a village idiot (phr):
a Washington proverb.

meet Romneys (n):
The persistent desire to poke Mitt’s handsome sons on Facebook.

mock the vote (n):
when people too embarrassed to admit they’re clueless about the voting process make awkward jokes to remain elusive.

over the Hillary (n):
undecided voter syndrome wherein the desire to see a woman in the White House is overrun by one’s dislike for Hillary.

pundIt girl (n):
the token female analyst who sits at the table with Wolf Blitzer and co.

scamdidate (n):
an unviable aspirant who just confuses the public (see: Ron Paul).

super delegetsome (n):
when powerful insiders use their influence to score dates with campaign managers and candidates’ daughters

Essential Keys to Being a Latin Lover

I recently received an email asking me if I could write about "being a Latin lover". This is a hard task, and I will probably have to think about it for a while because it's hard to describe the seducing technique of an entire group of people. Especially one that I’ve taken for granted as completely natural. But here are some of things I know and do:

*Self-Confidence: Regardless of your age, sex, or social position you must project confidence in the art of love

* Trust: Learn to gain the trust of your target. You goal is to make them feel comfortable with their body like they have never before

*Persistence: A consistent effort will show the object of your desire that you are committed to capturing their heart. Communicate your resolve and energy through you gaze, your words, and your passion. Make them understand all the wonderful things you could do and give to them.

*Be protective: of course in the non-freaky controlling way

*Celebrate: Life is a celebration and all Latins understand this. Everything they do involves in the enjoyment of some sensual experience.

Those are the key parts to form the foundation. You have to then use them:

1. Watch the sky: sunrises, sunsets, twilights, full moons. The sky is the canvas that paints everything the world feels. You should therefore admire it

2. Enjoy smells: All types of smells such as the smell of your lover's skin in the morning, or the way oregano and rosemary fill a kitchen.

3. Whisper your sweet nothings: it makes the experience so much more fun to have that special someone have to lean into you so that they can hear you tell them how amazing they are

4. Always be aware of what your target is saying: By listening to them you can find that they love something particular, and it makes it much easier to seduce them if you know that they love chocolate, or red flowers.

Mini update!

Hullo! Yes I have returned, and I came back to a full inbox and several messages, asking me where I had been. I will explain- Danearys needed time off. I’m a busy busy bee, having to play catch up at work and also needed just a little bit of time to relax and enjoy the scenes around me that I have, for the last couple of days, neglected. But I’m back, and postings will continue.

I will forgo the weekend review this week and go on straight to the articles.
Much love!

A Valentine for all of you

Now I get to the last post of the day! A valentine for you all.

The mysteries of Love

Well I've given in. So many of you have sent me so many requests for a Valentine’s Day post. So I gave in. But let me tell you, this is not going to be some Valentine’s Day post which tells you all about my feelings. Rather, it's going to be a post about the science of love. Enjoy, and happy heart day. Also just as a side note I encourage all of you to read the studies that I mention, they are truly fascinating.

What rules attraction?
In general, you gravitate toward people like you. good-looking people tend to go for similarly good-looking types, and those from a particular socioeconomic background favor their own. Experts believe this happens because perceived equality contributes to a stable union. Well known actresses pair up with rock stars, for example, because such men tend to be as rich and famous as they are. But once you get past the bone structure and bank account and into personality attributes, opposites often attract. "We’re apt to falling love with those who are mysterious and challenging to us" says Fisher, a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University. "This pull to another biological type could also be adaptive, if two very different people pool their DNA, they'll create more genetic variety, and their young will come to the job of parenting with a wider array of skills" hence my friends, survival.

How much do looks count?
Physical features are important to both sexes, but a bit more so to men. This is because most of the male brain is associated with processing visual information such as threats[1]. This is also true for women, but they show more activity in the brain regions that integrate decision making, which suggests they’re thinking about a little more than just how he looks.

Is love really blind?
Hmmmm…not exactly. However, once you’re hooked on someone, your vision gets cloudy. When you’re in a relationship, you’re well aware of the other person’s flaws, but your brain is telling you it’s OK to ignore them. Recent studies at the Wellcome Department of Neuroimaging[2] in London found that when romantic partners look at each other, the part of the brain associated with social assessment and negative emotion is relatively dormant and critical judgment is dulled. According to researchers, this mechanism may have evolved to help people stick together through early, sometimes stressful child-rearing stages.

Can love be addictive?
The answer is…Yes. Brain wave patterns taken from people “in love” mimic those of an addict bent on scoring their next fix[3]. Studies have found, for instance, that serotonin levels decrease by up to 40% in the newly smitten, causing some to show signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder, a condition associated with low serotonin-which is why you can’t seem to get the other person out of your head. Additionally, cortisol, a stress hormone linked with the fight-or-flight response, is released, so you’re constantly on high alert. Sound familiar? The brain also produces excess levels of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with addictive behavior whose activity increases when you expect to receive a reward. Gamblers and drug addicts experience similar dopamine activity. In essence you’re not supposed to be satisfied with the minimum, you’re supposed to be driven so you can win the person and eventually stabilize your inner chemistry.

When a relationship ends, you experience symptoms that are similar to an addict’s withdrawal. Your dopamine levels go down, so your mood suffers. The serotonin levels remain low, so your obsessive-compulsive disorder symptoms may not go away. In response to these imbalances, risk taking tendencies go up. That’s why when you can’t have someone but you’re not willing to accept that, you try harder and become more extreme about it. Ironically though, many scientists like Fisher (mentioned above) say that this compulsive behavior may help you move on faster: either you win the person back or you drive them away.

What makes people commit?
Humans are hardwired to stick together. Intimate relationships trigger the production of oxytocin and vasopressin, chemicals that have been nicknamed “cuddle hormones”. A mere touch from a loved one can elevate their levels, and after sex they flood the system. These hormones play an important role later on in the relationship…when you really begin to notice the other person’s flaws.

Why are some more reluctant to commit than others?
Gene variation may be partly to blame for this. Scientists at Emory University looked at the effect of vasopressin in two closely related kinds of rodents- the prairie vole and the meadow vole. Like humans, the prairie vole is one of the 3% of mammalian species that form monogamous pair bonds. The meadow vole doesn’t. But when male meadow voles were injected with a gene responsible for releasing vasopressin receptors, they immediately lost their wanderlust, paired up and settled down.

The number of vasopressin receptors is what most researchers think lay the foundation for commitment. Which in my opinion makes sense. Think about the “great long loves” out there. There’s something more to a couple that stays together for 50 years, and it’s hard to imagine that it’s just a question of compatible personalities or strict beliefs.

Does love make you more trusting?
Those “in love” do tend to see the world through rose colored glasses. An experiment at the national institute of mental health (NIMH[4]) in DC, found that subjects who inhaled oxytocin before looking at pictures of threatening faces had markedly lower activity in their brains fear centers. In addition to this a game in which subjects were given a sum of money to invest with a trustee, either in a lump sum or piecemeal, was set up. Anything given to the trustee would triple in value, but it was up to the subject to decide how much to turn over. Half the participants that were sprayed with oxytocin (the other half sprayed with a placebo) were twice as likely to turn all their money over to a trustee.

Why do people cheat?
I wrote an article on this a long time ago, but I never saw it through a scientific explanation. Attraction, romantic love, and attachment envolve three overlapping but separate brain systems. This means that it’s not hard for somebody to sexually desire one person, be infatuated with another, and still want to spend the rest of his or her life with a third. Because kind of love serves a unique need and exists in a different context, cheaters are able to divide their emotional resources. So what makes one more likely to cheat than the other? The answers are both inconsistent and varied. I suspect that the propensity to stray may be stronger in people who have novelty-seeking, sopamine sensitive personalities (basically addictive personalities). But there are other factors unique to the relationship-a need for attention, a desire to get out of the situation, everything I mentioned before are still likely to fuel infidelity.

Can love affect you health?
A study in Ohio State University showed that couples in good relationship tend to be healthier and happier than those that are not. Happily married couples report lower stress than single people, in part because they provide each other with emotional support in difficult times. Lower stress translates to better health and immune function. They say that people in conflict ridden relationships see that cuts and bruises heal more slowly than those that in a stable relationship. In a continuation of that study, breakups have been shown to cause physical pain. Subjects were involved in a virtual ball-tossing game. Those people rejected during the game showed activity in the pain area of their brains. This means, in evolutionary terms of course, that exclusions can be as bad for survival as a real injury, and our bodies know this. It’s part of the herd and pack instinct, if you’re alone you die.

What keeps people together?
Scientists say hormones, sociologists say hard work. I say both. Eventually the chemical activity associated with new love (high dopamine etc) dies down. This can range from 6 months to two years (depending on the initial rush). There are ways to keep the love alive, if you’re still interested at this point in keeping it. For men, sexual contact drives up dopamine levels. This is because men’s brain can only release those levels again with sexual contact due to the inherent nature of their desire to “populate” their species. For women, it is frequent physical contact, which maintain elevated oxytocin levels. Women are especially sensitive to oxytocin since it is a hormone that is linked to the “rear and raise” instinct. This is why holding hands, stroking your partner or any other kind of touch can create a feeling of attachment, and is the corner stone to her sexual arousal…aka foreplay. For both sexes however, novelty is essential, which is why you tend to feel so good about somebody after taking a trip or going through an usual experience together.


So there it is, ten reasons why we fall so hard, commit reluctantly, cheat for (or are cheated on) but are inclined to stay bonded forever.

Sources:
[1] Brizendine, Louann. The Human Brain. University of California, San Francisco. 2006
[2] http://www.vislab.ucl.ac.uk/pdf/motherlove.pdf
[3] http://www.ncpg.com/addicted_to_love.php
[4] http://www.nimh.nih.gov/science-news/2005/trust-building-hormone-short-circuits-fear-in-humans.shtml

CUPCAKE MINI!!!!!!!!

Smile therapy:
If you’re feeling super crappy, crabby, or cranky, smile like crazy at everyone. Small children, small animals, and adults of all sizes will smile back at you, which may make you feel better. BUT what’s even cooler is this: if you smile a lot when you’re totally stressed or depressed, you’ll feel like a raving lunatic, which is kind of demented but really fun for variety and will definitely make you feel better

A-CUPCAKE-MINI!!! --> Things to do in an office meeting:

Office meetings…ugggh….everyone hates them whether or not they admit it. You have to sit there in a room that is generally too cold in the winter and too hot in the summer. Not to mention you always have to smile no matter who sits next to you, even if you can’t stand the person. Unfortunately they are essential in the 9 to 5 world. My experience with office meetings is actually a pretty long one. Office meetings are really just long lectures, like the kind you have in college. Sometimes you give the presentation, sometimes you watch, but always you’re thinking “I could be doing anything else than this”. But there are ways to get through it.

Now I am not telling you that all meetings are useless, there’s always some measure of attention you must pay to a meeting. They wouldn’t call them if there wasn’t something that they specifically wanted you to hear. However, some offices *ahem-mine* have a habit of calling staff office meetings every Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. For an entire hour of my life I’m stuck in a room where most people just repeat what they said the day before. Here are some amusing tips to get through them.

Multi-task thinking: View meetings as unofficial social mixers where men and women of all levels get to come to check each other out while pretending to do business. Here is where you try to form a coherent sentence while at the same time imagining the most random, obscure things about the other person. For example, try explaining your recent project (for the ump-teenth time) to a colleague while at the same time imagining that person nibbling an earlobe, or dancing The Macarena.

The busy-bee: if you’re one of the few that receive a company blackberry, send yourself a million texts and leave the phone on vibrate. Make sure that there is an appropriate amount of time that the phone rests on the table by making sure that it doesn’t go off in your hand. Keep reaching for it, and clicking one button and then putting it down immediately. People will always thing you’re super busy if your phone is always going off.

Attention rush: Some people get the urge to sleep after hearing the same information again and again. This is actually natural, as the brain when stimulated with repetitive information will filter it like your spam filter in your email. The natural response to this, since you’re sitting down, is to go into temporary standby phase. The trick to not slumping down your head and napping make eye contact with anyone! You’re less inclined to fall asleep and you look really intense as you stare into the speaker’s eyes and make your coworkers think that you’re onto something new.

Gym-Gym-boree! : Work on some muscles baby! Flex those buns, tighten those abs! Not only will you stay awake, but most people won’t even notice that you’re doing a mini-workout.

Bring a notebook: Bring a notebook to the meeting and start scribbling. This helps if you have bad handwriting since no one will even attempt to read your notes. But, you’ll look super productive and get brownie points for making whoever is talking feel important, and whoever is watching like an ass. Of course you’re really writing about anything but what the person is talking about

Have fun: girls….rub, release, rub, release…repeat. Dare to go as far as you will. Sorry guys, but just know that at least ONE girl in the room is doing it, let your imagination soar.

Spin your pencil: You may drop it a million times during the meeting, but you’ll have a super cool skill that everyone else around will want to do. I’m serious! Try it, swirl and spin your pen around your fingers like a baton, pretend you’re only interested in what the speaker is saying and take side glances at the people around you. You’ll notice that they’re starting to twirl their own while watching your movements.

I will probably think of a few more while in my own staff meeting