Showing posts with label dork. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dork. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Vacation dreams


I was sitting down yesterday on the metro thinking about all the things that I wanted to accomplish and what I wanted to do, when I saw a sign that read "where do you see yourself in 3 years?" It was an ad for an online school, but seriously it couldn't have been more appropriate. Life, the universe...whatever...was giving me a sign. So I started to thinking; where do I see myself in 3 years?

To be honest I don't know. I have a vague conception of what I want, but no real goal, or details. For example, a lot of my friends want to be married in three years, or starting a family. Granted a lot of my friends are older than I am, but not by much. I, personally, don't have that particular drive. I'm not ring hungry- nor am I baby hungry. I believe that I can wait for a while. This doesn't say I may not eventually have those things, but they are not in the forefront of my brain. So having established that I have life goals, but nothing specific I started narrowing down my thinking to something more tangible (and far less stressful)...where would I like to have vacationed in 3 years? Now that was something I could work with, and they are as follows.

I have many life-long travel goals and one of them is to travel the silk trail. I am fascinated by ancient trade routes, which is hardly surprising because I am enthralled by people and civilizations. While other little girls were wanting to be princesses (of the Disney version), I wanted to be a vampire princess of ancient Egypt. Strange? Perhaps. But I digress, I want to travel all the major trade routes, and one of the most infamous, is the silk trail. The silk trail is (also known as the Silk Road) is a series of trade and cultural routes connecting the Asian, European and African continents. Thousands of people across various periods of time have traveled through these routes ranging from religious pilgrims and monks, to soldiers, nomads, empires, and the very first hominids transgressing out of Africa to the rest of the world.

The trade routes extend over 5,000 miles on land and sea. It was a significant factor in the development of the great civilizations of China, Egypt, Mesopotamia, Persia, Indian subcontinent, and Rome, and has helped lay the foundations for the modern world (then again what hasn’t these days?). There are two main routes in the trail: the northern route and the southern route.

The northern route goes through the Chinese province of Gansu, and then splits into three routes. One passes north through the Taklimakan Desert (in Kyrgyzstan and Xingjian), to rejoin in Kashgar. The other, going north as well, shifts towards the Tien Shan Mountains, through Turfan, Talgar and Almaty (in Kazakhstan). All the routes join up in Kokand in the Fergana Valley, and across the Karakum Desert towards Merv, before joining the southern route for a short while. The northern route follows for a portion the Amu Darya River, and from here there are small tributaries to the silk trail that go through the Aral Sea, into the Crimean peninsula, around the Black Sea, through the Balkans and into Venice and Constantinople.

The southern route is mainly a single route running through northern India, into Mesopotamia and Anatolia. It runs south through the Sichuan Basin in China and crosses the high mountains into the northeastern part of India, following the ancient tea route. It then travels west along the Brahmaputra and Ganges river plains before passing through Pakistan and the Hindu Kush Mountains before joining the northern route (briefly) near Merv. It then follows a nearly straight line west through mountainous northern Iran and the northern tip of the Syrian Desert to the Levant. From here, Mediterranean trading ships plied regular routes to Italy, and North Africa.

Now if you were to follow the third trail, it’s only via sea, which passes through the Red River near modern Hanoi and into the Malacca Straits to Southeast Asia, Sri Lanka, and India before heading onto the Persian Gulf and the Red Sea. From the ports in Egypt there were other branches that led down the east African coast as far down as the delta of the Rufiji River in modern Tanzania.

It’s amazing how there is so much evidence of the silk trail being used before actual history records it. People in the Sahara imported domesticated (nonnative) animals from Asia between 6000 BC and 4000BC. Foreign artifacts dating to the 5th millennium BC in the Badarian culture of Egypt indicate contact with distant Syria. The gemstone Lapis Lazuli was being traded from its only known source in the ancient work-Badakshan (right now in northeastern Afghanistan) as far as Egypt, as well as Chinese jade and steatite plaque in Egypt.

A Major step in the opening the Silk Road between the East and West came with the expansion of Alexander the Great’s empire into Central Asia. It was then followed by the various roman and Persian empires, becoming most famous in the Mongol empire stage with explorers like Marco Polo. I don’t’ want to bore you with everything, but now you can see why I find it so fascinating, and why I want to go through this area. To be able to follow an ancient trail, in a completely different time era. It’s amazing.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Workout video

As many of you know, I have a weird fascination and an irrational fear of the undead. I had a few extra moments to do a quick search on zombies, to find out when the movie "World War Z" would be coming out (I will tell you what WWZ is in another post. For now it is an awesome book). One of the hits that I had was Linnea Quigley workout. I was curious to see what the scream queen of the 80's had to do with zombies and a workout. So I clicked on the link.





Ladies and gentlemen...I have now been traumatized.





At this very moment, in my mind, I hold a perpetual image of Linnea Quigley in her ineffably rad "horror Workout" video. After a nice *graphic* shower, Linnea does some warm-up stretches and then goes for a run. She encounters some flabby zombies who follow her back to her house, where she leads them in some poolside aerobic routines. Later she unwinds by inviting some friends over for a slumber party and some exercise...all in nightgowns. When something goes bump in the house, her friends begin experiencing an attrition problem.

Much to the disappointment of B-movie fans everywhere, this pinnacle of home fitness instruction has yet to be made available on DVD. The VHS cassette sells for anywhere between 50 and 100 clams online. Or you can watch it here. I warn you though it's not really "work appropriate" (depending on where you work), I suggest you watch this when you know that no one will be able to watch you (that way no one will also never see you attempt some of the moves).





Friday, February 22, 2008

Carousel friday!


Huzzah! It’s Friday, and while I don’t condone you slacking off at work, it’s ok during your lunch hour to wander around and around a bit.

I have yet to come out of the geek closet, though it’s clearly written on my face as “Lola” the embodiment of a 6ft Tina turner is in a “queens” show. This is what happens when you get an inexplicable smile on face while looking at the economist magazine, and reading Lord of the Rings four times in a row. So, I ask you….why didn’t anyone tell me about Skywhales?! This is incredible. Have you seen it? What about you there, in the back, wearing the Dragonriders of Pern tee shirt? Ever heard of Skywhales? Yeah?


DAMN it. I’d never even heard of Skywhales until just now. What a huge, unsightly gap in my nerducation.

An old friend and I were just wasting many precious hours of life watching old-school music videos and cats having psychotic episodes on YouTube when he suddenly asked “wait, time out, have you seen Skywhales?” Nope, never heard of it. He made with the clickies and I promptly spilled wine all over myself.


Completed in 1983, Skywhales is an animated short about a race of green-skinned humanoid aliens who live on a floating island in the upper layers of a gaseous planet’s atmosphere. To survive, they hunt enormous manta ray creatures in pedal-powered airships. As this fansite author puts it, Skywhales “is a window onto an alien way of life–language, culture, taboos… as complete a picture as a short film has ever painted, and its final revelations are nothing short of haunting.”And how! The “boo bee boo boo bee” stuff is a bit grating at first, but hang in there. It’s epic, some would say. Uber, even. Circle of life. See it! Skywhales! (Sorry, I just really like saying that. “Skywhales!” While making jazz hands.) But seriously. It’s gorgeous and poignant and disturbing. Like your mom. With a Mohawk.







Onward through the dorkdom forest, I also thought it would be a good idea to resurface The End of the World video. I saw this a long time ago….junior year of high school I think, but it’s still kinda funny if you ask me. It has no basing, besides stereotypes, and some people may find it somewhat offensive. But….have a look-see at amateur hilarity. Word of advice though, this has some profanity in it…so it’s not necessarily a good idea to watch it with loud speakers…if you’re at work or something…







And well cupcakes, that’s about it for now. Maybe later on today I’ll post a mini. Happy Friday!