Dating Mr. Big

As I mentioned in my last post, I dated a guy who had lots of money. I'm talking about...lots. Now none of it was his money, it was all his family's...and even that I'm betting actually came from some scandal in his home country (I won't get into the politics of where his money came from). But my love affair with, I'll call him Andre, began one night when I answered the phone and a very bold, pleasing voice stuttered an awkward hello. I was flattered. I had met him at a small party held by another well-to-do friend of mine and I never thought I would receive a personal call from him. He was very smooth, and had a million and one women all over him at the party. So naturally I was shocked when he called me.

A whirlwind first date followed, and then a heady courtship that lasted on and off for a few months, until I found myself in a painful triangle with the woman who was to become his fiance. He's still out there I assume, splashing money about, if he hasn't been arrested for something. As for me, I've moved out on my own where I am working like a regular girl, in a regular life, in a regular city. While I've put Andre far behind me. I've never forgotten the lessons I learned from dating a big shot:

1. If a man asks you to meet him in New York for your first date, run- but not to New York.

Who doesn't love a bold romantic gesture? Just don't ignore the red flags: Andre did indeed pay for me to go to New York for our first date, later he bought me jewelry, and paid for a million and one things. Perhaps all of that blinded me to the difference between us, and the fact that he had recently broken up with his first fiance and was in no way ready for a relationship.

2. Greed is not good for a relationship.
I remember Andre saying things like "Thousands is not enough, I want to have more when I am on my own". Once he said he'd have to sell part of his "empire". OK, Obi-Wan. Too much success can give a guy confidence- which normally isn't bad, but so much so that they start dating multiple people because they think they deserve it. And that's exactly what Andre did.

3. If it seems like he has something to hide, trust your gut, he has something to hide. Andre was always very shady. He constantly was asking who strangers were and didn't like it when I helped other people because that made him nervous...and not in the good protective way but because he would then think I had something against him. Later on, experience proved that he was a pretty shifty guy that I really shouldn't have been involved in.

4. When friends don't have anything nice to say about your boyfriend, listen.

People, that weren't apart of Andre's "crowd", found him arrogant, cruel and cold. Even though they were my friends, and yes they weren't the top cream layer of DC, Andre would treat them with disdain. They were worth more than he was, and it showed he really had no respect for people.

5. You really can learn from every experience.

Andre encouraged me to improve myself, without changing exactly who I was; to never forget the lessons that my family had taught me, and I thank him for those things. I now know how to distinguish people that actually care for me and people that are just using me for something. He also made me realize that if you do something wrong it's important to own up to it early on, and I have learned the value of being loyal, not only to yourself, but to your friends and the people you care about.